How to Build Your Self-Esteem

There are some things you can do to build your self-esteem. Remember, though, that it takes patience and persistence to begin to develop a "new" YOU.

First, a very simple question...

Do you have low self-esteem? If you do, do you know why you have poor self-esteem?

Maybe you are giving yourself too many negative messages about yourself. Many people do. These are messages you learned mostly when you were young. As you learned them, you may have repeated these negative messages to yourself, especially when you were having a hard time. Worse, you may have come to believe them.

So the first thing to do is to begin with your thoughts.

How Do You Begin To Build Your Self-Esteem?

First, change your negative thoughts to positive ones...

You may have worsened your self-esteem problem by making up some negative thoughts of your own. These negative thoughts make you feel bad about yourself and lower your self-esteem.

Are you familiar with some of these negative messages people repeat over and over to themselves?

"I am a loser."
"I am a jerk."
"I never do anything right."
"No one likes me."

Many people believe these messages even if they're untrue. And, as in many cases, they do come up instantly in the right situations. If you got something wrong, you think to yourself, "I'm so dumb."

These thoughts see the worst in anything and everything, and they may be difficult to turn off. You may think of these negative thoughts so often that you hardly are aware of them.

But pay close attention to them. If you can, carry a small notebook with you for a few days as you go about your daily routine. Jot down these negative thoughts about yourself whenever and wherever you notice them.

Then when you're in a good mood, ask yourself these questions about each negative thought:

• Is that really true?
• Would someone say this to someone else? If not, why do I say it to myself?
• What do I get out of thinking this thought? If it makes me feel bad about myself, why don't I stop thinking about it?

Next, develop positive thoughts you can say to yourself to replace these negative thoughts whenever you notice yourself thinking them. In coming up with these positive thoughts, use positive words like enthusiastic, happy, loving, peaceful, warm.

Avoid using negative words such as afraid, can't, never, not, tired, worried... Again, be positive. Don't say something like, "I'm not going to worry any more." Instead say, "I will focus on the positive".

Building Self-Esteem Thru Positive Thoughts

Here's another way to build self-esteem using positive thoughts.

Fold a piece of paper in half to make two columns. Write a negative thought in one column and a positive thought that's the opposite of the negative thought in the other.

Here are a few examples...

Then...

• Replace the negative thought with the positive one each time you realize you're thinking the negative thought.
• Repeat the positive thought over and over to yourself, out loud whenever you get a chance.
• Write them over and over.
• Make signs of the positive thought, hang them in several places where you can see them often - on your refrigerator door or on the mirror in your bathroom - and repeat the thought to yourself several times when you see it.

Repeat these positive thoughts to yourself when you are completely relaxed.

The Most Important Factor in Building Self-Esteem

This is the real key on how to build self-esteem...

Be patient. Be persistent.

Changing your negative thoughts about yourself to positive ones does take time and patience. But if you use these ideas patiently and persistently, you'll notice that you don't think negative thoughts about yourself as often or as much.

If they do recur at some future time, just continue to do the exercises and activities to boost your self-esteem.

As you work to improve your self-esteem, you'll realize that you increasingly are feeling better, enjoying life more than ever, and doing more of the things you have always wanted to do.

Don't give up. Never give up. Applying these self-esteem builders and ideas will help boost your confidence in yourself and build your self-esteem.

Remember, you have the right to be here. You have the right to feel good about yourself.

• Self-Esteem: Children and Teens
• How To Build Self-Esteem
• Self-Esteem Activities